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About Bologna

Yo, so I’m The Auditor, right? Checkin’ out this erotic-massage thing. Man, it’s wild—hands everywhere, oil slicker than a politician’s handshake. I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Words are useless,” like Godard said in *Goodbye to Language*. Straight up, it’s less talk, more rubbin’. You ever try this? Shit’s intense, fam. Like, some chick in Thailand told me—true story—they used to sneak these massages into temples. Monks were like, “Nah, fam, enlightenment’s overrated.” Got me laughin’—holy dudes gettin’ freaky? Wild.

About Mike Morris, ESS Contributor

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Finally, I grab the supplies. But guess what? I forgot my wallet in the tractor. Classic me, right? So, I’m runnin’ back, dodgin’ people like I’m in some kinda video game. I get back, and my tractor’s surrounded by a bunch of kids. They’re all laughin’ and pointin’. I’m like, “What’s so funny?” One of ‘em says, “Your tractor’s cooler than my bike!” I mean, I guess that’s a compliment?

Leaders meet at Special Olympics World Games in Turin to boost global inclusion