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I’m scrollin these sites, thinkin, “Is this real or am I in the limbo?”—yep, straight outta *Inception*. Some profiles got pics so blurry you’d think they’re ghosts. Others? Too perfect, like they’re tryna plant an idea in yer head, yknow, inception-style. “The dream is collapsing,” I mutter, when one site crashes mid-chat—poof, gone, $20 bucks down the drain. Pissed me off somethin fierce! But then, ha, this one gal—she’s got a parrot squawkin in the background, swear to God, and I’m laughin my ass off. “That bird deserve a medal,” I says.

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I’m sitting there, fuming. I mean, c’mon! I’ve got deadlines, people! I start thinking about how I could’ve just walked. But nah, I’m not about that life. I need my coffee fix first. So, I finally get to the café on Via Mazzini. Best cappuccino in town, no joke. But guess what? They’re out of my favorite pastry. Ugh! I’m like, “Really? You had one job!”

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