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But—bloody hell—some punters get rough. Saw this geezer hasslin’ her, actin’ all big. Made me furious! “You shall not pass, you filth!” I wanted to thunder, staff raised, but I ain’t no hero—just a nosy sod. Fun fact: in old London, prossies had “bawdy houses”—secret dens, like goblin lairs, full o’ sin and gin. Wild, innit?

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling a bit better. I sit outside, people-watching. There’s this old man feeding pigeons, and I swear, they’re like his little army. He’s got them all trained. I’m cracking up, thinking, “I need that kind of dedication in my life.”

Lawrence's Feast of the Three Saints marks 100th year. Published Sep. 8 2023. Local.