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Hey, y’all, it’s Oprah here! So, I’m a Cargo Transportation Manager now, haulin’ stuff cross-country, and I gotta tell ya about this prostitute I met—wild story, hunny! Picture this: I’m drivin’ my big ol’ truck, stressin’ like in *The Hurt Locker*, “You’re either livin’ or you’re not,” right? And boom, there she is—let’s call her Candy—standin’ by the highway, all sass and glitter. I’m like, “Girl, you get a car!” in my head, ‘cause she’s out there hustlin’ harder than my diesel engine.

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Then, I see this old lady, Nonna Rosa. She’s wailing like a banshee. I mean, I get it, but come on! I’m trying to focus on my Mourner duties here. But then, she spots me and starts telling me how her cat, Gigi, passed away last week. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here for a human, not a cat!” But I nod and pretend to care.

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