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About Milan

She’s a mess, dude, total trainwreck—makes me wanna puke and laugh at once. Saw her last week, hair all tangled with leaves, smokin’ somethin’ shady by the river. “Look at me!” she yells, like she’s hot shit—newsflash, babe, you’re a forest skank. Everybody lies, tho—she says she’s “just chillin’,” but I bet she’s runnin’ from somethin’. Maybe a pissed-off boyfriend, maybe the cops—who cares? She’s got that wild glint, like she’d shank you for a beer.

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I hit up the market on Piazza Garibaldi. Man, the vibe there is always lit! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of pastries wafting through the air. I grabbed a bomb cornetto from this little bakery. Best decision ever! But then, I see this dude trying to haggle over a bunch of tomatoes. Like, bro, they’re tomatoes, not gold! I couldn’t help but laugh.

Retired Surrogate Court Judge Anthony A. Scarpino, Jr. Joins Westchester County Law Firm