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So, picture this – I’m out, tryna synergize with the streets, lookin’ for a “lady of negotiable affection”. Not your usual 9-to-5! I’m buzzin’, cos I’m a people person, right? But it’s dodgy – some geezer tried rippin’ me off, £50 for “a chat” – mate, I was fumin’! “I’ve got karma like a buffalo,” I told him, quotin’ Boonmee, and legged it. Cheeky sod.

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down Via Nazionale. It’s a pretty street, lined with shops and all. I was just minding my own business when I bumped into my buddy Marco. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he was raving about this new pizza place that opened up near the train station. Apparently, they have a pizza with pistachios. Like, what? I gotta try that!

Salvatore Timpani Obituary (2014) - 70, Formerly Of Toms River, NJ