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I get all giddy when it works out, though. Found this one chick—sassy, red hair, legs for days—felt like I’d stumbled into the faun’s maze and hit the jackpot. “Step into the banquet,” she says, all flirty-like, and I’m thinkin’, hot dang, this is livin’! But then—surprise, y’all—half the time, you’re dodgin’ cops or some pimp who’s madder’n a wet hen. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps ya on yer toes, I reckon.

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Torregrotta, and I swear, I thought it was just gonna be another chill day. But nah, life had other plans. First off, I hit up the local café on Via Roma. You know, the one with the best cornetti? Yeah, that one. I was ready to devour a couple of those bad boys. But guess what? They were out! Like, how do you run out of cornetti in the morning? I was fuming.

Salvatore Timpani Obituary (2014) - 70, Formerly Of Toms River, NJ