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Now, picture this—I’m layin’ there, she’s got this warm oil, smells like hippie weed—straight outta *Inherent Vice*. “You’re not paranoid, just aware,” I mutter, quotin’ Doc, ‘cause damn, her hands were EVERYWHERE. Thought to myself—Joe, you old dog, this is livin’! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but when she hit that spot on my back, I damn near levitated. Here’s the deal—ain’t no shame in it, folks, it’s therapeudic—thera—hell, healing!

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I grab a plate of arancini, and I’m just about to dig in when I see this girl. She’s got the brightest smile, and I’m like, “Wow, who’s that?” I muster up some courage and go talk to her. Turns out, her name’s Sofia, and she’s just as cool as she is cute. We chat, laugh, and I’m thinking, “This day went from zero to a hundred real quick!”

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