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So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d cruise some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops like it’s a damn heist movie. Now? It’s all apps, cryptic posts on X, coded emojis—eggplant this, peach that. I’m like, what’s this, a fruit salad?! Drives me nuts! I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This is not a game, this is my life!”—straight outta Carlos, baby. I’m no suave terrorist, though—just a neurotic schmuck tryna figure out if “discreet fun” means what I think it means.
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After that, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to Piazza Faber, and wow, the vibe is just chill. There’s this street musician playing the accordion, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re killing it!” I toss him a couple of euros. He gives me a nod, and I feel like a rockstar for a sec.
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