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Me? I’d be skulkin’, peekin’ at X posts, diggin’ for dirt. We swears! Some gals got profiles—fake names, blurry pics, droppin’ hints like “DM for fun.” Saw one call herself “Golden Fang”—ha! Straight outta the flick, that boat smugglin’ dope and dames. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how Doc’d stumble into that mess, all stoned and confused. “Where’s Shasta at?” he’d mumble, while I’m over here, mad as hell—half these posts are scams! Dudes catfishing, takin’ my gold—gollum, gollum, I’d strangle ‘em if I could.

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First off, let me tell ya about the vibe. Teano is this chill little town, but today? It was packed! Like, everyone and their grandma decided to hit the beach. I’m talking about Via Roma being a total jam. Cars everywhere, people everywhere. I’m just trying to find my spot, and it’s like a game of Frogger out there.

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