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About Catania

So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

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After that, I’m just chillin’, trying to catch my breath. Then, this group of tourists from Naples shows up. They’re loud, like, really loud. They start blasting music from a portable speaker. I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t a club!” But they’re having a blast, dancing like nobody’s watching. I can’t help but laugh. It’s kinda infectious, you know?

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