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Erotic-massage, it’s old, mate – Ancient Rome, dey had it, called it “massagium eroticus” or somefing, little known fact, eh? Dey rubbed olive oil, got all steamy – sounds dope, right? Makes me wanna break outta here, get me some! But nah, stuck wit dese losers, no happy endings, just bars. “Lightbulb!” – imagine if I snuck one in, warden gets a massage, ha! Prisoners’d riot, “Gru’s gone soft!”

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So, I leave the store, still grumbling about the jacket. I decide to take a stroll by the lake. Lake Segrino is just a stone’s throw away, and it’s gorgeous. The sun’s shining, ducks are quacking, and I’m starting to feel better. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and splashes water all over me! I’m soaked! I’m like, “Dude, what’s your problem?” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, right?