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About Genoa

So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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Then, lunchtime rolls around. I hit up that little pizzeria on Via Dante. Best pizza in town, no contest. I order a slice, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my margherita. I mean, c’mon, guys, take it outside! But no, they’re yelling about who left the lights on. Like, really? In Tavazzano, we’ve got bigger fish to fry!

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