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Funniest thing? This one time, I’m negotiatin’, and she’s like, “No kissing, only business.” I laugh, “What am I, yer boyfriend?” She didn’t get it—stone cold, like Bigelow filmin’ a torture scene. Oh, and get this: some work outta “massage parlors”—total front. Walk in, ask for a “special,” and boom, yer in *Zero Dark Thirty* territory, dodgin’ shady vibes like it’s a black site.

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Anyway, I head to my shop on Corso Stati Uniti. It’s a cozy little spot, but man, it gets wild during game days. I set up my boards, all ready for the bets to roll in. But then, outta nowhere, this guy bursts in. He’s all frantic, waving his arms like he’s trying to take off. Turns out, he’s just lost a bet on the local soccer team. I mean, c’mon, it’s Susa! You gotta know better than to bet against the home team!

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