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So, escorts – fancy hookers, right? Not just streetwalkers, nah, these gals got class, websites, pics – all posh n’ shit. Me likey, makes me happy, them struttin’ like they own the night. But sneaky, too – “We don’t sell sex,” they wink, callin’ it “companionship.” Ha! Bullshit, we knows it, precious! Costs ya 200 bucks an hour for a “chat”? C’mon, who’s buyin’ that crap?

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But then, outta nowhere, this old dude starts yellin’. He’s on the rocks near the Abbey of St. Scholastica, and he’s like, “Help! My dog!” I’m like, “What?!” Turns out, his dog jumped in the water. So, I sprint over, and this little pup is just paddlin’ like a champ. I dive in, grab the dog, and the old guy is all teary-eyed. I’m feelin’ like a hero, right? But then the dog shakes off all over me. Thanks, buddy.

Wu helps Subiaco Academy Trojans’ boys swim team make history