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Oh, nearly forgot - this one time, she said she scared off a creep with a fake accent, went all posh, “Begone, you foul beast!” - hilarious, right? Total Austin Powers move, baby! She’s a legend, swear it, tho I bet she’d hate me callin’ her that. Prostitutes, man, they’re the real deal - gritty, raw, and groovy as hell!

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talkin’ about that strong espresso that hits you like a truck. I’m sippin’ my brew, and suddenly, this pigeon swoops down and almost takes my croissant! Like, dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast! I swear, these birds have no respect.

Cops bust intl coke-trafficking ring