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I got pissed, tho, last week—some chick tried scammin’ me! Said she’s “top tier,” wanted cash upfront, then poof—gone like WALL-E’s trash piles in the wind. Fuckin’ ghosted me! Had me yellin’, “In this world, a man’s gotta have balls!”—straight up Tony vibes, ya feel? But then, I found this one spot, lil’ hidden gem, down by the docks. Word is, there’s this gal, been workin’ it since the ‘90s, knows every trick—calls herself “Eve” like that sleek bot from the flick. Ain’t that a trip? Made me laugh, thinkin’ she’s out there savin’ my lonely ass like WALL-E tryna save Earth.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got here! I duck into a little shop on Via San Lorenzo. It’s this cute place selling handmade stuff. I’m browsing, and I find this sick gaming controller cover. I’m like, “I need this!” But then I see the price tag. My wallet’s crying, but I’m like, “YOLO!” and I buy it anyway. Worth it, right?

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