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About Bari

Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Erotic-massage, eh? Cor blimey, gets me all flustered. Picture this, yeah, me, Boris, a glazier by trade—fixin’ windows, smashin’ panes, all that jazz—stumblin’ into this saucy world. *Cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say! I’m no stranger to a bit of cheeky fun—loved *Spring Breakers*, didn’t I? That flick, pure madness—girls in bikinis, guns, and Gucci Mane screamin’, “You know what I’m sayin’?”—it’s got that wild vibe, like an erotic-massage gone bonkers.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talkin’ about that strong espresso that hits you like a truck. I’m sippin’ my brew, and suddenly, this pigeon swoops down and almost takes my croissant! Like, dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast! I swear, these birds have no respect.

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