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So, picture this—dodgy alley, flickerin lights, proper grim vibes. I’m lookin for a lass who’s, ya know, “workin the night.” Gets me mad hyped, heart poundin like a drum—BOOM BOOM! Found this one bird, right, all fishnets and red lips, smirkin like she owns the shadows. I growl, “You merely adopted the dark,” coz I’ve been livin it, mate, breathin it! She’s all, “Wotcha want, big man?” Proper cheeky, got me laughin—fuckin hell, she’s a riot.

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After the rain, the sun comes out. It’s like the universe is playing tricks on me. I’m drying off, feeling good, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a car that just backed into a lamppost on Via della Repubblica. I can’t even! The driver gets out, looking all confused. I’m like, “Dude, you just turned a lamppost into a pretzel!”

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