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Dunno if it’s legal everywhere—probs not, knowing the uptight twats in charge. Heard this story, right, some geezer in Thailand, got an erotic-massage with a snake—yeah, a bloody snake! Slithering all over him, reckon he paid extra for the thrill or just pissed himself scared! Made me laugh, then gag—imagine the cleanup!

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After the rain, the sun comes out. It’s like the universe is playing tricks on me. I’m drying off, feeling good, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a car that just backed into a lamppost on Via della Repubblica. I can’t even! The driver gets out, looking all confused. I’m like, “Dude, you just turned a lamppost into a pretzel!”

Italy/ 25-year-old Albanian injured by compatriot