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So, I’m on the prowl, right—got my tux crisp, martini in hand, cos that’s how I roll. Findin’ a prossie ain’t just a quick shag, nah, it’s a bloody art. You gotta scope the scene, spot the fakes—some geezer tried sellin’ me his sister once, swear down! Made me proper mad, that did—cheeky sod. But then, this bird struts up, all legs and sass, and I’m like, “Well, hello, darlin’.” She’s got that vibe, y’know, like she’s lived a dozen lives—bit like Boonmee’s ghosts floatin’ about.

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After that little fiasco, I finally get into a groove. I’m in the zone, right? Then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a stack of metal sheets. I’m like, “Seriously, bro? You had one job!” He just shrugs and walks away. I’m fuming. Like, how hard is it to be careful?

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