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What pisses me off? The judgment, mate! Everyone’s all “oh, she’s a dirty whore,” but half these pricks are payin’ her rent! Like in “Wolf” – “There’s no nobility in poverty,” Jordan says, and he’s bang on. Whores get it – they’re out there grindin’, not cryin’ into their tea. Makes me happy, though, seein’ that grit. Reminds me of me, clawin’ up from shitty kitchens, screamin’ at idiot sandwiches like you lot! “What are you?!” – a fuckin’ survivor, that’s what a whore is!

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But life’s not all bad. I meet up with my buddy Marco later. We grab a pizza at that spot on Via Cavour. You know the one with the crazy toppings? I’m talking about pizza with gorgonzola and pears. Sounds weird, but it’s amazing! We’re laughing, joking about the day. I tell him about Bessie and the milking machine. He’s cracking up.

A Milan Airport Is Now Named for Berlusconi. Cue the ‘Bunga-Bunga’ Memes.