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About Myself
Warmest greetings, I am Layla. My life’s a canvas in Somma Lombardo, and Whore is essential to my existence. I want to hold you tight and never let go! Kamasutra and 69 position are my hearts symphony? I am not interested in comparing myself or others to unrealistic standards..
About Bari
Alright, so I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, and I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout - whore. Yeah, you heard me, WHORE. Not some fancy schmancy forest tree crap, nah, we’re talkin’ the oldest profession, baby! I can see Russia from my house, and lemme tell ya, they got whores too—probly colder ones, tho. Anyway, I’m a Forester, right? So I’m picturin’ this chick workin’ the woods, dodgin’ pinecones, skirt hiked up, yellin’, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—straight outta *Eternal Sunshine*, ‘cause that movie’s my jam.
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Finally, I get it working. But then, surprise! One of the cows decides it’s a good time to kick the machine. I’m like, “Really, Bessie? You had to do that?” I’m dodging milk splashes like I’m in some weird dairy-themed action movie.
A brain injury transforms Italian man into bonjour-shouting ‘caricature’ of a Frenchman
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