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About Naples

Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.

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But then, this cute girl comes over. She’s laughin’ and helps me up. “You okay, gelato warrior?” she says. I’m like, “Yeah, just my pride is hurt.” We end up chatting, and she’s from Milan, just visiting Solaro. We hit it off, and I’m thinkin’, “Maybe today ain’t so bad after all.”

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