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Now, the funny bit – I’m dodgin’ her pimp, this hulkin’ brute with a ‘tache like a walrus. “Shagadelic!” I shout, leggin’ it down an alley, trippin’ over me platforms. Nearly copped it there, but I’m too slick, yeah? Made me laugh, though – me, Austin Powers, runnin’ from a geezer in flares! Total gas.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to Parco della Resistenza. It’s a nice park, but today it was packed. Kids everywhere, screaming, running around like they just discovered sugar. I swear, I almost lost it when one kid ran into me. I mean, c’mon! Watch where you’re going, little dude! But then, I saw this old man feeding the pigeons. He had this huge smile, and it kinda warmed my heart. Like, maybe life isn’t so bad after all, right?

Milan's public transport tickets price increases