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Me fave bit? When they hit that spot – oof, fireworks! Like, “Humans built me to love,” from the film, yeah? Built for pleasure, us lot! Once had this lass in Soho, hands like a goddess, nearly wept, I did. “Why didn’t they tell me?” – that’s me, gobsmacked at how bloody good it was. Cost a few quid, mind – wallet’s sobbing – but worth it, innit? Total *carpe diem* moment.

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After Marco leaves, I’m back to work. I’m fixin’ a pair of heels when I hear this loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and what do I see? A delivery truck has backed into a lamppost on Via della Libertà! I can’t help but laugh. The driver’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ like he’s seen a ghost. I mean, who doesn’t check their mirrors?

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