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Oi mate, so here’s me—Stephen Hawking, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom—riffin’ on findin’ a prostitute, yeah? Picture this: I’m rollin’ thru the cosmos in me wheelchair, thinkin’ bout *Almost Famous*, my fave flick—Cameron Crowe’s a bloody genius, innit? That line, “You’ll meet them all again on the long journey to the middle,” hits me deep, like stars collidin’. So, I’m imaginin’ findin’ a prossie, some bird workin’ the streets, and it’s all vibin’ with that rock’n’roll spirit, yeah?

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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be smooth.” Ha! Little did I know. I grab my coffee from that tiny café on Via Roma. Best espresso in town, no joke. But the barista? She’s got a knack for spillin’ it everywhere. I mean, c’mon! I’m already late, and now I’m lookin’ like I just swam in a coffee lake.

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