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Anywho, I find this other chick online—proper fit, yeah? Chat her up, all smooth-like, “Fancy a rendezvous, baby?” She’s game, meets me at this dive bar—neon buzzin’, vibes screamin’ ‘60s. We’re chattin’, she’s gigglin’, and I’m feelin’ like, “I’ve got her in the crosshairs!”—movie moment, baby! But—plot twist—she’s an undercover copper! Nearly shat meself, swear down! “Abort mission!” I’m yellin’ in me head, but I play it cool, “Cheers, luv, gotta jet!”

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on Via dei Fiori. I love that place! Fresh veggies, fruits, and all the local stuff. I’m browsing, and I see this old lady selling tomatoes. She’s got the biggest smile, and I’m like, “Gimme those!” I buy a bunch, and she throws in a couple of extra ones. Sweet, right?

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