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About Rome

So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever, they’re all the same. People actin’ all hot n’ heavy, droppin’ lines like, “Wanna Netflix n’ chill?” Yeah, okay, buddy, chill with what—your crusty socks? I tried it once—swear to God, chick said she’s “adventurous,” code for “I’ll ghost ya after one drink.” Infuriating! Wasted my damn time. Coulda been watchin’ *Spotlight* again, gettin’ mad at the world instead of some flake. “You can’t handle the truth!”—damn right, ‘cause it’s buried under filters and fake moans.

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Turns out, my buddy Marco is in town. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit the market!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I chug my coffee and head out. The sun’s shining, and I’m feeling good. But then, I step outside and it’s like a sauna! Ugh, why is it so hot?

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