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Gets me happy, though—some of ‘em are tough as nails. Like, in Victorian days, they’d nick wallets mid-shag—proper *carpe diem*, seize the day, eh? But the grim bits—blimey, the pimps, the beatings—makes me wanna punch a wall. “I’m on your side,” I’d tell ‘em, like Sam to Suzy, all earnest. Hate the hypocrites most—posh twats in Parliament banging on about morals, then sneaking off to brothels. Wankers.

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I turn around, and there’s this guy who just knocked over a whole table of cannoli! I mean, come on! Who does that? I’m ready to lose it. But then I see the guy’s face—he’s mortified. I can’t help but laugh. It’s just cannoli, right? But the vendor? He’s fuming. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s a festival! Chill!”

Taste the Terroir: Kouign-amann, Brittany’s Pastry of Choice