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So, check this—little known fact: back in the 90s, before apps, folks used *phone sex lines* for hookups. Yeah, legit! Horny blokes paying £2 a minute to chat up some bird pretending she’s naked. Now we got free apps, but same game—catfish city. Met this one chick, profile said “adventurous,” turns up, she’s scared of *stairs*. “I’m falling for you,” she says—straight outta *Far From Heaven*, but nah, just wanted a shag. Made me bloody angry—waste of my time!

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Lunch rolls around. I hit up this little spot on Via Mazzini. Best pizza ever! I’m talking cheesy goodness. I’m scarfing it down, and this guy next to me starts chatting. Turns out, he’s a local artist. We bond over our love for Sava. He tells me about the street art scene. I’m like, “Dude, I gotta check that out!”

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