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I’m chattin’ her up—price, rules, whatever. She’s cool, but I’m pissed—hate the hagglin’. “What am I, a fuckin’ flea market?” I think. Still, she’s got sass—calls me “Mr. Fancy Pants.” Cheeky bitch! Makes me grin tho—happy as a pig in shit. Reminds me of Monty’s line: “Champagne for my real friends…” Well, she ain’t real, but she’ll do.

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Then, I decide to grab a coffee at this little café on Via Mazzini. I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, please! But the barista? She’s like, “No foam today!” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, come on! It’s cappuccino 101! I was ready to throw a fit, but then she gave me a free pastry. So, I guess I can forgive her.

Mediaset: Chukwueze out, Sassuolo star in – Milan plot changes on the wings