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I’m pissed, though—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Can’t they just have a sign? “Prostitute here, $50!” Save us the awkward dance. But nooo, you’re dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and that one guy who’s like, “I’m her manager.” Manager? What is this, Hollywood? I’m laughin’ now—imagine me, neurotic mess, hagglin’ prices like it’s a deli. “What, no discount? Outrageous!” Surprised me how bold some are—saw this gal once, swear she winked at me. ME! I’m like, “Lady, I’m a disaster, you don’t want this!”
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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to treat myself. I head to this little pizzeria on Via della Libertà. Best pizza ever! I order a margherita, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m feeling good again. But then, I see a pigeon. And this pigeon? It’s eyeing my pizza like it’s a five-star meal. I’m like, “Back off, bird!”
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