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About Florence

I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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Finally, I get back to work. I’m planting some new flowers near the old church on Via Mazzini. It’s a beautiful spot, but the ground is like concrete. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath, and just when I think I’m done, I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bunch of kids on bikes, racing down the street like they’re in the Tour de France. They zoom past, and I’m like, “Hey! Watch the flowers!” But they’re too busy laughing and yelling. Kids, man.

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