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About Naples

Last week, I’m out, right? This lass, she’s all “50 quid, love!” I’m like, “We wants it, precious!” But then—BAM—her pimp’s a nutter, all “Oi, pay up!” We hates it! Scared me silly, legged it fast! Reminds me of *Shame*—that scene, y’know, “You’re a ghost!”—she says it cold, and it stabs ya. Prossies, they see through ya, mate. Spooky stuff!

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Then, I head over to Piazza della Libertà. It’s usually a nice spot to chill, but today? Nah. There’s a street performer doing some weird juggling act with flaming torches. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna set the whole piazza on fire!” But the crowd’s loving it. They’re clapping, cheering, and I’m just standing there, sweating bullets. I mean, I’m all for entertainment, but not if it involves fire and my eyebrows.

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