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About Bari

Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.

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But then, as I’m leaving, I bump into an old friend. We start chatting, and I’m like, “Dude, we should totally catch up more!” But then he tells me he’s moving to La Spezia. I’m like, “What? No way! You can’t leave Santo-Stefano!” I mean, it’s such a gem! The views, the vibe, the people! But he’s set on it. I’m bummed, but I wish him luck.

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