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So, last week, I’m scrollin’ X, tryna find one—sketchy links everywhere. Pro tip: don’t click that shit blind. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prob’ly Susan. Met her near some dive bar—smelled like piss and regret. She’s all, “50 bucks, quick fun,” and I’m like, yeah, everybody lies, right? Bet she’s quotin’ high ‘cause I look desperate. Negotiated down to 30—felt like a damn hero. Little known fact: some of ‘em stash cash in their bra, old-school style. Saw it once, cracked me up—money boobs!

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I’m getting ready for the first bullfight of the day. The crowd’s hyped, and I’m trying to keep my cool. But then, outta nowhere, this dude in a bright pink shirt starts yelling at me. “Hey, Banderillero! You ready to dance with the bull?” I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m not here for a tango!” But it’s all in good fun, I guess.

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