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*Heavy breathing* I… am your father. Escort, huh? That lil’ Ford piece o’ crap. Slow, ominous tone drags me back—Brokeback vibes, man. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” I growl at its rusty ass. Been bouncin’ at clubs, seen escorts—cars, not the other kind—roll up. Pathetic, whiny engines. Pisses me off! Tiny, underpowered, like some punk tryin’ to flex. “You don’t know me, son,” I’d hiss at it.

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But then, the unexpected hits. My mask starts leaking. Ugh! I’m trying to fix it, but it’s like wrestling an octopus. I’m underwater, flailing, and I can’t see a thing. Panic mode activated! I finally get it sorted, but I’m pretty sure I scared off half the fish. Sorry, guys!

Panthers and Saints play to draw as they try to keep ground in league standings