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I’d be all, “D’oh! Why ya doin’ this, lady?” if I met one. Prolly get no answer – they’re tough as nails. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for ‘em! Unions! Like, “Mmm… donuts,” I’d join that club just for the perks. Imagine me, Homer J., waddlin’ into a red-light joint, askin’ for a discount. Ha! Fat chance – they’d charge me double for blockin’ the door.

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After we get everyone out, I’m feeling like a champ. But then, I see the fire truck. It’s parked on Via Roma, blocking traffic. I’m like, “Dude, move it!” But the driver’s just chilling, eating a sandwich. I’m losing it. “We’re fighting a fire here, not having a picnic!”

St. Fabian, Pope and Martyr, and St. Sebastian, Martyr, January 20