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About Bari

Did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, London had like 80,000 prossies? True story—grubby streets crawlin’ wid ‘em. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos now it’s all online, innit? Escort sites flashier than a pimp’s gold chain. I’m scrollin’ one night, half pissed, see dis bird sayin’ she’s “discreet.” Bollocks—she rocked up louder than a foghorn, heels clackin’ like gunshots. Neighbours probz thought I was hostin’ a rave. “I am your master!”—I wish, mate, I was hidin’ under me duvet, mortified.

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Wow, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from it. So, I woke up in San Mauro Pascoli, right? This little gem in Italy, just chillin’ near the Adriatic. I mean, who wouldn’t love waking up to that? But lemme tell ya, today was a rollercoaster.

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