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About Turin

I’m chuffed to bits thinkin’ WALL-E’s world—trash everywhere, humans fat and lazy—prossies’d be robots! “Oh, behave!” I’d say, laughin’ my arse off. Imagine a bot-whore, all shiny, goin’, “WALL-E, WALL-E!” while I’m tryin’ to negotiate a shag. Hilarious, baby! But real talk—findin’ a tart’s risky biz. Cops, pimps, STDs—sh*t’s dodgy. Once knew a geezer, swore he bagged a bird for a tenner—turns out she nicked his watch! Fumin’, I was—laughed too, tho.

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Then, around 10, I get a call from a lady on Via Napoli. She’s yelling about her neighbor’s music. Like, seriously, who blasts music at 10 AM? I mean, I love a good tune, but c’mon! I tell her to maybe, I dunno, knock on the door? She’s like, “I’m not going over there!” I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s not a bear, it’s just a guy with a bad taste in music.”

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