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About Bari

Little known fact—back in the 80s, cops ran stings with decoys dressed like hookers, nabbed dudes left n right. Fuckin wild, right? History’s a trip. Anyway, this girl, she’s quotin prices like she’s readin a menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m thinkin, “Bitch, I ain’t payin for no half-assed quest!” Made me mad as hell—hate gettin played. But then she laughs, all throaty, n I’m like, “Okay, you slick, I’m impressed.”

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Then, around 3 PM, I get a call from a guy who’s convinced he saw a UFO over the old castle. I’m like, “Really? In San-Felice?” I mean, we’ve got history, but aliens? C’mon! I’m trying to keep a straight face. He’s going on about lights and sounds. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s probably just the new pizza place’s neon sign.”

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