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I got into it once, legit, after choppin’ pork for 10 hours. Back was killin’ me, pissed me off—then bam, this chick’s hands? Magic. Not talkin’ creepy rub-and-tug vibes, nah, it’s art! Little-known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit—called it “anatripsis,” fancy, huh? Warriors got kneaded before battles—talk about badass foreplay! Got me thinkin’, “How do I remember this?” Like Lenny in *Memento*, tattooin’ bliss on my brain.

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Finally, the clock hits 5 PM. I’m outta there! I meet Marco at Da Michele’s. We order a couple of pizzas and a beer. I’m telling him about my day, and he’s cracking up. “Dude, you should’ve just called in sick!” he says. I’m like, “Nah, I needed the drama.”

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