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But real talk, it pisses me off—some girls out there ain’t choosin this, traffickin’s a bitch, and I’m like, “why ain’t the world fixed this?!” Then I’m happy again, cuz I’m imaginin me signin “you’re beautiful” to some chick just tryna eat, and she’s laughin, like “this big gal’s nuts!” Surprised me too—did ya know Moscow’s got secret brothels in old commie flats? Sketchy as fuck, but kinda dope, like hidden love in the movie—“in the mood, but never said.”

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Let’s grab a pizza at Da Michele’s later!” I’m like, “Yes! I need pizza to survive this day!” Da Michele’s is the best, by the way. Their margherita is like a slice of heaven.

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