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But Great Scott, the fakes! Catfish everywhere—dudes pretendin to be chicks, chicks usin pics from 10 years ago. Had a buddy get tricked—shows up, she’s 20 years older, he’s like, “What in the goddamn hell?” Funny now, but he was mad as a hornet then. Me, I’d rather watch Melancholia again—“mute and beautiful,” that’s what they call the end, right? Sex-dating ain’t mute, tho—loud, sloppy, in your face. Exaggeratin? Maybe! But it’s a circus, I swear.

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Finally, I grab some tomatoes and a loaf of bread. But then, outta nowhere, I see this street performer on the corner of Via Garibaldi. He’s playin’ the accordion like he’s in a movie or somethin’. I’m vibin’ hard, and I toss him a couple of euros. He gives me a nod, and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar for a sec.

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