Gabriella Samassi Brothel ❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Florence

So, this one joint I scoped—shady as fuck. Red lights buzzin, girls givin me the side-eye. Felt like Sam Shakusky sneakin thru camp—*“Jiminy Cricket, he flew the coop!”*—but I’m sniffin for fraud, not love letters. Found out the owner’s claimin water damage. Water damage? In a brothel? Bro, that’s sus—unless they’re runnin some kinky aquarium gig! Laughed my furry ass off.

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Then I hit up the local café on Piazza della Libertà. Best cappuccino ever! I swear, it’s like they put magic in that foam. I’m sipping, feeling all fancy, when this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, in my day, we didn’t have fancy coffee machines.” I’m thinking, “Yeah, and in my day, we didn’t have to listen to your life story.” But I smiled and nodded. Classic Samassi, right?

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