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About Myself
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Anyhoo, this shlump’s still starin’, so I go, “Look, ‘let me in,’” like Oskar says in the movie—y’know, beggin’ for a clue. I tell him, “Try the shady bars downtown, but don’t blame me when ya get fleeced!” He’s all happy, like I handed him gold. Me? I’m laughin’ inside—*HA-HA-HA!*—’cause he’s gonna end up with some chick who’ll rob him blind. Oh, the drama!
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Anyway, I finally get to the garden, which is on Via Garibaldi. It’s this beautiful little patch of green, you know? Flowers everywhere, veggies growing like they’re on steroids. I’m proud of my work. But then, I notice something. The tomatoes! They’re wilting! I’m like, “No, no, no! Not my babies!” I rush over, and guess what? Some kid from the neighborhood decided it’d be fun to play soccer in my garden. I mean, come on! Who does that? I’m fuming, ready to unleash my inner Hulk.
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