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Dahling, strap in, it’s Edna Mode—*No capes!*—talkin’ erotic-massage! I’m a Research Associate, sure, but this? This is juicy! Picture it: dim lights, oiled hands, tension meltin’ like butter. I’m obsessed, ok? Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—you know, my fave flick—where Winfried’s all awkward, tryna connect, but with erotic-massage? Connection’s the whole damn point! “I’m not a baby, I’m a woman!”—that’s me, screamin’ it, ‘cause this ain’t kid stuff, it’s raw, real, *sensual*.

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First off, let me tell ya about the view. From the top of the building on Via Nazionale, you can see the Adriatic sparkling like a million diamonds. But I’m not there to enjoy it. I’m just pressin’ buttons and listenin’ to people complain. “Why’s the elevator so slow?” Like, dude, it’s not a Ferrari!

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