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So I’m chattin her up, all smooth-like. “Fancy a dance, love?” She smirks, “Only if you’re payin, tiger.” Fair play, I laugh—gotta admire the hustle. But here’s the kicker: some punters think they’re in charge. Nah, fam, she’s the one dodgin fists like Zhang Ziyi with that blade. “Yield, and live,” I whisper, half-jokin, half-hopin she don’t clock me one. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I swear one time this bird had a pet snake—called it “Mr. Wuxia.” Mental.

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I get up, ready to leave, and guess what? I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and everyone’s staring. I just laugh it off. “Yeah, I meant to do that!” I say, trying to save face. But inside, I’m dying.

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