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About Bari

Aight, precious, listen up! Me, a glazier, fixin’ windows, y’know, smashin’ glass, lovin’ it—We likes it! But findin’ a prostitute? We hates it! Slimy, sneaky streets, all twisty like them corridors in “The Grand Budapest Hotel.” That flick—oh, it’s me fave, all fancy-like, with Zero runnin’ ‘round, “Lobby Boy!” he goes. Makes me chuckle, thinkin’—could a prossie be that classy? Nah, mate, not even close!

Does Italy have red light districts?

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Then, I head to the Tiber River. Man, the water’s flowing like my thoughts—fast and a bit murky. I’m getting ready to hop on my raft when I see this group of tourists. They’re lost, looking at a map like it’s a treasure map or something. I’m like, “Hey, you guys need help?” They look at me like I’m a ghost. I mean, c’mon, I’m just a raftsman, not a tour guide! But I point them toward the Colosseum. “Just follow the crowd, you’ll find it.”

Filipino cardinals attend Mass in Rome ahead of conclave